I sit here alone. My husband of 17 years, we were together for 22, almost half my life... is gone. I threw him out. He will never live with me again.
What else do you do when the person you've spent essentially half your life with, birthed and raised his children, supported him in every single way - informs you he's been having an affair for the past two years...AND while he doesn't want to give up the affair (with a whore who is married to someone else and also has children), he wants you to stay in the marriage for the next 4 years so his social status won't go in the shitter.
I always knew something was going on. I couldn't catch it. He kept things under passwords and hidden away where I couldn't get to them. We've been through a year a therapy where I asked several times for him to tell me what was going on. At home I asked him to tell me the truth.
Every. Single. Time. He lied.
I knew this was coming, I just didn't know how much it would hurt. He has spent the past two years being emotionally and physically vacant. I've spent the past two years being miserable, hoping this was some midlife crisis that would sort itself out and the person who loved me would come back eventually.
What else do you do?
I am so sad and lonely...
The bright shining life I always dreamed of turned into a huge cliche. What do I do now?
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Hi there,
ReplyDeleteI know right now what you need most is an ear to listen. Not advice. Your life isn't a cliche.
Talk it out. Find a friend or family member to listen to you. If you hold all of your thoughts in, it's hard to see your way back to something normal again. Good friends can help you circle back around to finding sanity and happiness.
You have to go through all of the stages of grieving. Recognize them and get through each one.
I used to say 3 months, 3 months 3 months. Not to get over it, but to start seeing the light and feeling a little better.
Keep telling yourself that if he felt he had to go to someone else, it was a problem within him not you. Hold your head high and know it wasn't you that did that. Although your self esteem is probably low right now...in the end and throughout your life you'll be the one who did the right thing.
You'll cry at night and bravely go through your days, but one day you'll wake up and half way through your day you'll realize he wasn't your first thought when you opened your eyes. That's when you know it's getting better.
Kelly
Thank you Kelly. I appreciate your kind words. They are all so true.
ReplyDeleteI do understand it's his problem, but in turn he has made it my problem and my heartache.
I'll get there. I know it's going to take me a while.